By CHOOSING your resistance (or your "DO NOT WANT"), you go from having it guide you to being at the source of it.
You start by accepting and embracing your very diswanting itself. Your resistance, your magnetic repulsion, your avoidance. Get in touch with how much you don't want to meditate. And choose that.
The repulsion is the way the repulsion is because the repulsion is the way the repulsion is.
AND
I choose the repulsion because I choose the repulsion.
Human beings never accept things for what they are. We're constantly "deciding" - meaning, the considerations are what's ACTUALLY choosing - and thereby cutting off all other ways of being.
By accepting my repulsion, I can enjoy it and eliminate it as an issue, which then frees me up to meditate without a barrier being in my way. It therefore empowers my meditation, simply by dis-empowering the racketing.
Meditated tonight with some of my last mintues before bedtime and feel quite good about it.
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