Q4 CDC Day 56

6-7

06:00 - 07:00: Obj.2.1b (5/5)

Audio recording FINISHED (hopefully!)

Q4 CDC Day 55

12p - 2p

12:00 - 01:00: Obj.2.1b (3 / 5)
01:00 - 02:00: Obj.2.1b (4 / 5)

Q4 CDC Day 54

11:30a - 3:30p

11:30 - 12:30: Obj.2.1a (20.5 / 5)
12:30 - 01:30: Obj.Su.Lunch (7 / 14)
01:30 - 02:30: Obj.2.1b (1 / 5)
02:30 - 03:30: Obj.2.1b (2 / 5)

Q4 CDC Day 43

5p - 7p

06:00 - 07:00: Obj.2.1a (19.5/5)

Q4 CDC Day 42

5:00p - 7:15p

5-515 - meditation
515-530 - setup

05:30 - 06:00: Obj.Int.Setup (10.5/6)
06:00 - 07:00: Obj.2.1a (18.5/5)

SETUP EXTENDED -- To forever settle what "IT" is that you must "GET"

From now on, thou shalt live by the following realization.

If thou deviates, thou shalt review the following:

Q4 CDC Day 41

08:30 - 09:30: Obj.Int.Setup (10/6)
09:30 - 10:30: Obj 2.1a (15/5)
10:30 - 11:30: Obj 2.1a (16/5)
11:30 - 12:30: Su.Lunch (6/14)
12:30 - 01:30: Helping mom
01:30 - 02:30: Obj 2.1a (17/5)
02:30 - 03:30: Obj 2.1a (18/5)
03:30 - 04:00: 30 min break & snack - no obj.  Go 25/5 to end with 5 min meditation.

Initial Setup - Crossing A New Divide

So today marks the end of the second batch of initial setup, setting me 4 hours over goal.

Why did I do this?

Because I haven't been "getting it"... and I realize that I will be MUCH more successful if I do "get it".

What is "it"?

In essence, the same definition as landmark - the difference between the "real me" and "my mind", and how to free myself from the constraints my mind is constantly placing on me.

This is not some hokey "universe" shit - this is basic logical shit.  For instance:

When you feel "tired" or like you "don't wanna work", how does that feeling constrain you, or limit you?

What if you ACTUALLY wanted that feeling, because to you, THAT feeling WAS the opportunity to create a little bit of happiness and growth?

What if that feeling made you ACTUALLY feel excited that you can now embracing the feeling and push through it?

YES... I KNOW all this... but the problem is I HAVE NOT BEEN *GETTING IT*.

Getting it means I see what life is like when I feel resistence, stop, embrace it, enjoy it, get excited, and then push harder than I knew I was capable of.

It means pushing through resistance on top of resistance on top of resistance and breaking through the ceiling after the ceiling I just broke through.

It is 10% mindfulness, constantly snapping into awareness, constantly catching "it" in action, constantly reprogramming, and constantly pushing myself.

That is how happiness is made.  That is the paradigm.  And that's what I want to "get" again.  And there's nothing I can write here that will make me get it.  It's just something I have to walk myself through and see for myself.

And now... now I get it for the moment... so now I have to IMPLEMENT IT.

Implementation is everything.  Otherwise, I'll lose it again.

Q4 CDC Day 35

5p - 7p

Health insurance selection in wake of Cigna advent.

Selection: Kaiser Permanente

Will get it once I get my credit card back tmw.

Q4 CDC Day 34

8:30a - 3:30pm

08:30 - 09:30: Obj.Int.Setup (6/6)
09:30 - 10:30: Obj.Int.Setup (7/6)
10:30 - 11:00: Thanksgiving order.
11:00 - 12:00: Obj.Su.Lunch (5/14)
12:00 - 01:00: Obj.Int.Setup (8/6)
01:00 - 02:00: Obj.Int.Setup (9/6)

Today was about planning out the new workout morning ritual and cementing in my mind the importance of mindfulness, NLP, and primarily, embracing and enjoying pain, uncomfortable, difficulty, and the joy of pushing through it.  It's a mindfulness practice of seeing all uncomfort as interesting, and when you are doing your worse, you have the largest opportunities of growth.

Getting Jaimie back is about raising the small sizes more than increasing the big ones.  It's about being mindful when you're falling apart.  It's about embracing pain and suffering.

Today was about getting me back on board.

I have precooked, delicious, healthy meals... clean clothes... and a backpack for my workout.  It's time to hit this week hard and get it back.