SO rituals failing are one thing.
But failing to show up to ROARS is another.
You will fail to meet your goals if there are no shows.
And it's like Deja Vu all over again now... you failed and spent the last 3 or so hours thinking about Sarah.
The problem is, as much as I've let go of the troublesome feelings and where things left off, I have this big gaping energy hole of "She is plan A. for having a closeness to someone without a relationship because we are both in the same place, and that will lead to my solving of PIED, which I am clearly hell-bent on solving ASAP"
And while consciously, the choice to solve PIED may be due to the logic of "I don't want to make it worse and I need to start solving this now because the game is coming soon, in fact I may require a partner to be a successful entrepreneur"
The REAL DRIVER is the subconscious reasoning that says, "I want to start solving PIED so I can satisfy Sarah."
The thing is, I'm learning to deal with Sarah. It won't be the same for a "real" relationship.
I'm smart but I'm not smart enough to handle the twisted scenarios that lay in wait for me. Trust me... if you date, you will try to figure it out... you will spend hours and hours, like the reasons you failed tonight... just thinking and thinking away, because it overrides ROARS as being more important due to time sensitivity... and the scenario will be EVER-CHANGING, requiring constant adaptation and new things to think about ALL THE TIME.
This is not a woman problem -- it is a YOU problem. But it runs too deep to be changed. Being a perfectionist is at your core, that goes back to when I was like 10 and me and Chris spent the night at Benjamin's house and you were always the impressive one, and you got off on that. Deep down, you will have a strong, super-powerful, constant demanding nag to be your best and perform for women.
So I don't know man, I really think you need to keep the dating out of this challenge. Maybe take it 90 days at a time... once it's really starting to pick up momentum and I am gung ho, and my PIED thing is ready to be tested fully... maybe then it'll make sense. But I would say for the next 90 days, put this on the back burner.
I can't do that. I just can't. Right now, Sarah is driving me to be a better me, even if it's just a dumb subconscious thing.
Tonight is valuable for one thing... by thinking about a women-related-energy hole instead of working, I've got my answer for dating. The answer is NO... it WILL cause me to apply the perfectionist there as well... and while I can do both, doing all 3 (LEAF, ROARS, GAME) is too much for me to handle right now. That'll be do-able when I am a solid 5-6 or when LEAF is no longer a significant part of the picture.
So that all being said, I have cancelled my free match account. Before I went I had a look at the reason I went there in the first place... turns out there are SEVERAL attractive women in the area that are SKIIERS that want a relationship and even got pictures of Vail and Austria and shit... which actually, it kind of upsets me that they've been skiing in 2 of the most legendary places and I haven't been... bullshit man lol. Point is YOU CAN JUST MATCH RIGHT UP WITH A SKIIER ITS SOO EASY!!!
Ehem. So that's cancelled for now... but I am excited to pick that one back up in 90, 180, or even 360 days when I can handle the constant effort of improving my skills in the field of attraction.
Sarah, on the other hand, doesn't play the game with you. She's always straightforward. She won't be a problem as long as you keep a consistent plan... the problem tonight lies in me not knowing what to do. Now I know what to do, and it goes like this:
1. Sell her on spending time with me since she likes it so much. She needs to agree to a date and terms (non-cancel-able flight + furnishings) for me to buy tickets
2. Once there, see how it goes, if your getting into the heavy kissing you can explain the whole PIED solution thing if you want... but I would just go and see how it goes... it's worth it dude. If you don't get anywhere and it's a hand holding friendship, simply don't go back or AT LEAST make her fly out to you next time. Hanging out with Sarah is never a total loss and at least this way you'll know.
Right now, the plan is to give her Wednesday because hell hath no fury like a Sarah on goddamn Wednesday and then just hit her up with non-Halloween proposals. Let's see how the weekend before Halloween works on airfare right now, 2-3 week notice is just going to be A LOT better for her cuz she wont need to cancel.
Also, stop taking "okay" as a 'no'... "okay" is a 'yes'!! She will be sold if the weekend works out and she decides to accept the terms, which are not that bad. This will give her a couple days to get sold on it, and because prices will be changing rapidly, IT WILL GIVE A NATURAL SENSE OF URGENCY SO YOU GET A REAL SOLID ANSWER.
No comments:
Post a Comment