Need a "Monthly Determination Generation System"

Restoring integrity has revealed the need for a monthly system.  Currently I only have daily and weekly systems for generating determination.  This makes for a short time frame I have to do it in and when I've gone "off the rails" it doesn't work at all.  I need a good 1-2 hours per month where I really sit down and get highly determined to hit my goals, which the daily and weekly systems then use as their fuel for thought.

I essentially do this by default once or twice a year.  The problem is, it is only brought on by massive failures, and then once generated it's only a matter of time - usually 1-3 months - until it fades out again.

Instead of going with the default model, I'd like to switch to a model where I catch and replace my default behavior every month, following a system, determined by my word, not my feelings.  This system would look for going off the rails and generate major amounts of determination.

Once a month, I'd take maybe 2-4 hours to evaluate the following on scales of 1-10:

1. When it comes to hitting my goals, how much do I HONESTLY care on a day to day basis?
2. How clear are my goals in my mind, without looking?
3. What is my current determination level?  (10 = Pure gladiator, 1 = Pure couch potato)

---

I’ve been pretending I am doing a big push & ramp up this year, that I am all about my new 2019 goals  (like I was in January) – but the truth is, I have not been pushing hard or very focused on my goals in February.

The impact pretending to be about my goals is that I feel like a loser, I feel disappointed in myself, and I feel incapable of achieving significant results.

What’s been missing is any sense of real determination and feeling alive, I’m missing that thrill of fighting to make something happen against all odds.

The possibility I am inventing for myself is determination.  I will keep my goals by my bedside and look at them when I wake up every day so I can start my days with determination to make my goals into reality.  Also, I will generate a deeper, more serious determination from 8-830 on Sundays.

 ---

Why am I never consistent over 6 months, 12 months, etc?

It’s obvious.  Very, very simple: Sometimes I care, sometimes I don’t care.

It’s really that simple.  One month I care, the next I don’t.

So all I need to get really consistent is to consistently care.  I have to want it.  Which means I need a monthly system in place wherein I generate high amounts of determination every single month.